Unworthy Moments

Even though there may be a camera dangling around your neck, there are moments that are just unworthy of being documented through photography.

...like when you're casually exploring a new city on foot and your two-year-old frantically grabs her crotch and starts doing the potty dance...so you speed walk a good half a block nearly dragging your child along and dart into the nearest restaurant...and immediately upon entering the place the hostess shouts, "All the way to the back and to the right" before you even say a word...all the while the two-year-old is still holding her crotch...and after about three steps into the 75 feet journey to the toilet, your daughter begins to dribble urine on the floor right in the open...and if that's not enough to make you a victim of public humiliation, she starts screaming loudly, very loudly, "I'm going potty in my pants!  I'm going potty in my pants!"...knowing that it's too late and everyone, and I mean everyone, in the entire establishment is staring, you swoop her up into her arms and make a bee line for the restroom....that's when she really lets loose with the urine and proceeds to pee all over your right hip and down your leg...urine soaked shirt, shorts, and flip flops...and then you find yourself in a foreign bathroom with a potty dripping, screaming-'til-she-can-hardly breathe drama queen on one hip and a camera occupying your other hand...and you find yourself thinking, "At least we'll know our way out of here.  Just follow the piss trail.  Hansel and Gretel, you've got nothing on us."...and then you realize that you better keep some thoughts to yourself because you certainly don't want your two-year-old princess repeating the word "piss"...and then there's only paper towels, no hand dryer to be found...the only time in your life that you would prefer a ridiculous hand dryer over paper towels...and then you overhear your husband outside the door, so you open the door revealing your drenched self and hand over the camera...and then there's a lull in your daughter's repeated shouting of "I went potty in my pants" so she can curiously ask you, "What happened?" while pointing at your pants to which you respond, "You peed on my pants too."...and then you begin a strategy to get out of the establishment with a little less commotion than when you entered it...so you carefully place your urine soaked daughter back on your urine soaked hip and position her leg in a calculated fashion across your side and thigh in an attempt to mask a bit of the wetness...and then you take a deep breath, put on a forced happy face to ready yourself for the walk of shame and follow that pee trail right out of the restaurant.

Yep, some times are better left uncaptured.