Privacy

I’ve mentioned before that I surrendered all of my rights to privacy when I became a mother, and I’m certain that I do not stand alone. This loss of privacy for me began before my firstborn even took his first breath of stagnant hospital air.

Sharing one’s uterus is anything but private. Stirrups and sexual history questions at the OBGYN’s office defy the very definition of privacy. And there’s something about a bun in the oven that opens the door to a whole new world of questions and behaviors that would be considered downright appalling if directed at a non-pregnant woman.

An encounter with a stranger in the grocery store checkout line may start off innocently with appropriate questions such as “How far along are you? Do you know what it is? Is this your first?” In a blink of the eye, this alien person is asking if you’re ripe and dilated, offering episiotomy suggestions and inquiring about nipple size all while massaging your enlarged belly. For some peculiar reason, asking a complete foreigner about the status of her cervix and violating her personal space isn’t crossing the etiquette line if she’s with child.

This is just a glimpse of what life on the other side of motherhood will be like. Maybe due to the subconscious realization that privacy is a thing of the past, most women, oddly enough, embrace this unfamiliar territory and begin to willingly offer way too much information when talking birthing stories and post-partum leaking. From here on out, private matters no longer exist in a world filled with diapering, breastfeeding, bathing, incontinence (for the unfortunate ones!), and potty training. Many, many months can pass, and just when privacy starts to peek its tiny head out from behind the clouds, BAM! Pregnant again...and the entire process starts over.

It’s nearly impossible to even imagine, but someday I will regain this privacy that I speak about. Until then, I’ll continue to have an audience for nearly everything I do.

For example, I decided to take a bath while E was napping. I put on a TV show for J, but soon he was comfortably seated on the bathroom countertop discussing tsunamis and other natural disasters. Mid-discussion, he jumped up and closed the door. He assumed his position back on the countertop and before resuming the conversation, he stated, “Now you can have some privacy, Mom.”

This is the same child that politely asks me to turn around and face the disgustingly filthy wall of a public restroom stall because he desires a little privacy while he does his business. Classic irony, don't you think?

Busy

How many things can a family squeeze into one holiday weekend?

Well, a lot...swimming indoors, garage sales, the zoo, the zoo train, a movie, Cold Stone, the farmer's market, a shopping trip to get hats, an afternoon at the lake, church, a picnic with friends, a nap, a surprise visit from two uncles, a water park with wave pool, dinner with neighbors, and at least four trips to the grocery store.

Just typing all of that was exhausting, but to my surprise, I really never lost my patience or fell asleep mid-sentence this weekend. I was too busy having fun with my dear family to notice how much around the house wasn't getting done.

I only tortured my kids with the camera at the lake. That's just proof that I'm not a blogging junkie after all.





J picked out his own large men's hat, so most of the day he looked like this. Guess whose ears didn't get burned though.



It took E a while to warm up, but she had no fear once she got going.






Friends sure make life more fun!







Some just can't hang as well as others.



E & E taking a stroll.



J & L, armed with a bow and a dagger, are off to play "Snipers with Unusual Weapons."



Little N showing off her new walking skills.







I haven't been able to get a decent picture of both of my kids looking at the camera...ever. Maybe I'll have better luck the next time we play "The Camera Game."



Thousands of men and women have lost their lives so that we may have the freedom to have busy weekends filled with faith, family, friends, and fun. Thousands more are continuing to protect this freedom. Thanks to all the troops, past and present. I am truly grateful. God bless you all!

The Answer is No

J: Your tummy looks big today. Do you have a baby in there?

My New Hobby

I'm a bit of a control freak, so instead of being absolutely grateful when my dear husband surprised me with a new camera last fall, I was a little upset. Like a baby, I pouted and acted disinterested because I had no say in the what, where, when, why, and how much. And now you all know where my children learned this behavior...surprise!

Anyway, it took me a while to become familiar with this new and complicated device, but I was able to give it the true test when we went to California last November.




Steve, I'm sorry I was so ridiculous!

The results prompted me to consider the possibilities, and I had an idea for our own photo session at home. With a white sheet and a few letters made out of card stock, we were ready to go. After an hour of clicking, some time on the computer, a little frustration, and an abundance of naughty words going through my head, the major lesson in all of this was clear: Never try this without my husband's help. Let's just say the kids weren't exactly the easiest targets which led to a not so nice mommy. Every time I pull out the camera, J still says, "I don't want to play this picture game." However, the end result was better than I had expected.

When my friend received her valentine in the mail, she asked if I would be interested in spending camera time with her handsome guy.
Here's Maxx...





Thanks for letting me borrow him! This was such a good learning experience for me.

YUCK

Immediately after changing E's soiled diaper but before filling the bathtub last evening, I took a potty break. Having surrendered all of my rights to privacy when I became a mother, I did not even bat an eyelash when E ran into the bathroom. She pointed at me sitting on the toilet. With much conviction, she shouted, "Yuck! Yuck!" I quickly chimed in to correct her by saying, "No, honey. No yuck. No poopy...just potty." Before exiting the bathroom, she again pointed and repeated, "Yuck! Yuck!"

After washing my hands, I headed out into the living room to round up the troops for bath time. There I found sweet E pointing at a steaming pile of feces on the carpet. She kindly looked at me with an "I told you so look" and again said, "Yuck."

Why don't scenes like this make the cover of Parenting magazine?

Bad Guy

Last night E and I were reading a Snow White book. I would point to a picture of someone or something and ask her who or what it was. When I pointed to the wicked queen, she responded, "Bad guy."



Of course this would be the response of a toddler girl whose older brother spends the majority of his waking hours in a fantasy superhero world.

Tired

Just another reason why I don't rely on my four year old to boost my self-esteem...

Me: I'm tired today.

J: That's because you are SO old.